Posts tagged narcissistic abuse
Fairy Tale Turned Nightmare: The Narcissist in Prince Clothing

One of my favorite movies as a young girl was Cinderella. Before I possessed the ability to think with too much reason or logic, I could imagine no better scenario than the man of my dreams coming to rescue me from my wretched existence. The problem with this state of being, however, which lasted into my late twenties, is that my situation was never actually that wretched thus I didn’t need actual saving (at least not by someone else). Attached as I was to the fairy tale, however, it was no big surprise when I met the man who I thought came from my girlhood fantasies and fell hard and fast in love without any fairy godmother to hold me back for a moment and say, “Now hold on just one damn minute!”

Consequently, there was nothing I could do but freefall into his love and ride it like a rollercoaster with my eyes squeezed shut. It was frightening as hell, but I didn’t want to get off.

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I Wanted Him to Hit Me Instead: The Physical Trauma of Emotional Abuse

I had always been a healthy girl. I never struggled with any major illness, and the only time I was in a hospital outside of childbirth was to accompany my parents when my little brother needed stitches or had an asthma attack. I rarely took medication because I rarely needed it, and the only knowledge I had about remedies other than baby aspirin and Mercurochrome was from reading the expired boxes of Alka-Seltzer in my dad’s medicine cabinet.

But that was then, before I turned thirty and fell hard and fast in love with a man who would later be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It wouldn’t be until sixteen years later that I would escape, and with only a shred of my spirit intact due to the emotional injuries I suffered silently from, injuries that weren’t visible like bruises or broken bones and therefore left me nothing to show in demonstration of my pain.

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